Life is a funny thing, it takes and it gives without any requests, thoughts, or considerations. Hearing that a friend's mother passed away last night reminded me again of my grandfather. I thought I had no more tears to shed after that, but I found myself unable to sleep for hours with water freely flowing from my eyes. It's never an easy thing to see a loved one disappear from our lives, leaving only memories, pictures, and broken hearts in their wake, but that is the way of life. So with that I say hold your loved ones close and tell them/show them how much they mean to you each day, because you never know what the future holds. I'm not sure I have more words to say, just a fairly sobering sort of day.

Melody

     Fingers gingerly danced across the frets and strings of her acoustic guitar, while fiery curls bobbed in rhythm to the slow song she played. Words never came out right or in the proper expressive manner that she felt. Lips moved silently and she tried to work out pitches and lyrics before letting them be vocalized. Some say music is more apt to touch a soul or a heart. That was what she wanted. To have the music reach out and speak in ways that she couldn't fathom doing on her own. She paused a moment and flexed her hands, relieving the slight tension that was building within her fingers. Now seemed as good a time as any, and she wasn't sure that she would keep her mentality of doing it, if she waited until later to do so.
      She took a slow, deep breath and steadied herself against her guitar. Then, reaching out with her right hand she pressed record on her computer and counted in her head. "Three, two, one.." Her fingers began to dance again with a purpose and instead of wordless music, she let let loose the lilting melody that had been playing so long in her head. Each chord and each pitch rang in harmony and she smiled inwardly as she played. Her only goal, was to touch his heart and convey her emotions when she was at a loss for words...



     Herp derp, and more random writing, some I'm happier about than others, though I also can't say that I mind it all that much. I have too much to look forward to and to dream on, to be weighed down by silly doubts. Should they occur, it just means I have to pick myself up and keep going. It's how the world works anyways.

     After a month into the year, I find myself looking back into my resolutions and shaking my head. I don't need millions of resolutions, or even have to rush myself into doing everything at once. I can take my time and get there when I need to. While I'm not completely scrapping my resolutions, I am editing them into one encompassing one. My main resolution for this year is to be happy; happy with my job, happy with myself, and happy with others and the direction my life is going. I do know and understand that life isn't always rainbows and sunshine, or anything to that degree, but it is also a lot of what you make of it. I don't like feeling sad or depressed, so I'm going to choose to focus on the good and go from there, instead of being swept out with the tide.
      At the moment, I can honestly say this is something I'm willing to work on and put forth effort into. Things have been awful most of the last month, but this month started with a smile, and I want it to stay that way. I have friends and family who care deeply for me, people who do crazy and amazing things just to see me smile, and that makes me happy. I also finally started a semi workout thing thing yesterday, and boy am I sore today. Guess that means I did something right, I hope. I didn't pull anything, just muscle soreness. I'm looking forward to some traveling a bit later on in the year, and visiting family later after that. The writing, well, I'm still not the best at keeping up with it, but I am trying where I can. I think being happy with work is probably the easiest. I love my job and the people I work with. I had been aiming for a library job for the longest time, and it is the best. Here's to continuing the year with a smile.