It's odd how little things can conjure up all sorts of old memories and emotions. I was actually at work today and cleaning out a fitting room when I noticed a random napkin on the ground. This napkin had the same pattern as the ones typically used at my parent's house and I instantly felt a wave of homesickness when I discovered it. I miss my parents terribly. I even miss my siblings. It's such a detached feeling knowing that I can't just give them hugs when I want to, that the comfort of having them even fifteen minutes away is no longer there. I'd give so much to see my father on Father's Day, to be able to surprise him with a visit like I did for my mom, but I can't afford it and I don't have off. Ugh. I miss them...
Old pictures... Yeah I found some. Stupid to go through them, and even more stupid are the emotions they conjure. Those certain things you think you bury deep enough and bottle up tight enough that it'll never break free, just somehow seem to ooze out and flip your entire day around. It's like a single thought that just sorta knocks you flat on your face before you even realize what's happening and you can't contain it and push it back away before it floods out and overcomes you and you just have to wait it out until the waters recede enough for you to be able to dam it up again and clean up the mess. Just another night.
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